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26 August 2003 @ 04:00 am
*scream*  
Ever have one of those moments where you're so angry/sad/upset/frustrated that you just want to cry? That's about where I'm at right now.

Ugh. I had such a good day too. I had a wonderful first day of classes. I like my teachers thus far, my math teacher actually remembers me from last semester. The only worries I was having was the amount of participation and group work one class wants... I like to work alone and I'm shy as all hell. But I can survive that. I hope. :P

Then I got to hang out with my friends. Granted we were saving Innana from her roommates who were having a little first day party. (It's really not healthy to start drinking at 5 in the afternoon. And they all look the same too, it's creepy!) And I was having fun, we rented a movie, got snacks, saw some people we knew at the store. Life was good. Then we get back and we can't find parking, so I offer to drop them off while I go park the car. They say no, we'll all just walk together. But it makes sense to drop people off, it's raining a bit and there's things to carry. Still, they insist because they're afraid I'm gonna get mugged or something worse, and then they kind of yell at me, half-jokingly, and like a wuss I give in because I don't want to argue.

But it hurts.

I mean, I know they're not talking down to me to be mean, in fact they're doing it because they care and they don't even think of it that way, but at times it frustrates me so!Sometimes I just want to scream. I'm not a child, even if, maybe, most of them are more mature than me. I may not be able to support my self in the 'real world' yet, but dammit, I can take care of myself. I'm 22, older than just about every one of the people I hang out with. Not to mention, two years ago I lived in those dorms and I walked around at night by myself. I went off and walked in the dark trails in the woods by myself, which probably wasn't that intelligent. I'm not afraid, and I know they are, but I don't want to be. I just wish they had a little faith in me and my ability to make choices for myself, I guess... when something goes wrong they can laugh and say 'I told you so', but I'd like to be able to fuck up by myself once in a while...

*looks over what she wrote*

Huh, that probably makes no sense... I wish someone was online... Ah, well, I should get sleep anyway. More classes tomorrow. Hopefully they're good. :)

[Class Load: Canadian Literature, Medieval Literature, Math 055, Shakespeare, and Rise of Civilization.]
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Genesis Greygenesisgrey on August 27th, 2003 06:06 am (UTC)
Heheh, yeah... that's basically what I meant... glad to know I wasn't being a complete nut when I was typing last night... ;)